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Where do you go to my lovely.....

30 Jan 2026

….When you're tired and stressed….and then something happens to tip you over the edge?

When we're well rested and feeling strong, we can cope with most of what life throws us: we're capable, problem solving, mature adults, right? But when we're tired, stressed or with someone who pushes our buttons, where do you go? Illustration representing feeling overwhelmed when stressed and tired

I'm not OK- it's my fault, I got it wrong, stupid me, why can't I do anything right? Illustration representing feeling fed up

I'm OK- It's their fault, why do they always get it wrong, what is wrong with (other) people?

These life positions (I'm OK or I'm not OK) exist out of our awareness and they happen for all sorts of reasons- decisions we made without realising it, in early childhood to keep us safe and protected and to get what we needed from our care givers.

There are 4 positions:

  • I'm OK- You're not OK (I'm surrounded by idiots)
  • I'm not OK - You're OK (I always get it wrong)
  • I'm not OK-You're not OK (This is pointless, I am rubbish and so is everything else)
  • I'm Ok- You're OK (We are all capable adults worthy of respect and dignity)

The first thing to do is notice yours….when you're stressed and tired and it feels like a fact that you are surrounded by idiots or that you are the idiot, or both, catch it. It's not a fact….

If noticing these patterns feels familiar and you would like support in understanding them with more compassion, you can find out more about how I work and the support I offer on the services page.